….SwItBaByCmE…..

I was only seventeen on a hot April day of 1987.  I couldn’t take my eyes of off this gift from God.  He was my gem given to me from heaven and I felt so blessed.  Blessed with my son whom I named Russell Vohn Garcia Calazan.  From this day forward my life has changed.  I know I took good care him the most precious way I could have done. I don’t regret anything that I have done for my son.  Having him in my life renewed me in so many ways.  I always carried him, cuddled him in my arms and kissed him every moment that I had and I am so glad that I did because he was my baby then and he will always be.  My son taught me how to live my life accordingly.  At my early age, he taught me how to be strong, responsible and how to stand up for myself and for us as a family. He taught me how to set my dreams and fulfill them. He taught me how to learn household choirs, he had showed me how to love more than you can imagine but most and foremost, he taught me how to be a parent, how to be MOM.

A MOM is believed to be the hardest job ever.  There is no book or instructions on how to become one or neither to make it perfect nor to be a perfect one.  That’s why through my son, I believe I became and learned all of what I know now as a MOM.  Days, years did flew by and now he was so grown up that I can hardly hug and cuddle him. He is so grown up that he had his own ways in life own life but still listened and came home to me.  I thank him so much to be such a supportive son, loving, although quiet at times yet very opinionated and easy to approach.  He has questioned me a lot of times as to why I live my life this way but yet understood me and still stood by my side.  He was my protector, our protector.   He was never a burden to me and I am so proud of him and all of this was proven during his last days, he made me even proud when I found out that he has touched lives of so many other people.  I am so proud of you Vohn-vohn and I will always be.  Wish we had more time together so I can see your kids grow up and take care of them as well as I took good care of you.  Vohn-Vohn, always remember YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME and I am so glad that I was able to tell you this before God took you away from me.  Now you are in a different phase for he has some other plans for you as they say which I wish I had a hint as to what they were so it will be a lot easier for me to get by this.  I didn’t want it to be this soon but what could I have done against the one who lend you to me.  HE was the one that knew it all, when the moment would have come.  I just wished I was able to tell you for one last time how much I love you but I was not given the chance. But I happy in a way that I still had that chance to hug you for one last time the Thursday night before all of this happened.  And that was it.  Please even though you are in a different place now I hope you still watch over us and be our guardian angel until we all meet again.  I love you Vohn vohn and I will surely miss you but I will never forget you.

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